Self-Defense is Life Enhancement

"How much money do you have in your wallet right now?"

Most of us said around twenty to forty bucks.

"How much did you pay to be here?"

Rory Miller's self-defense seminar that weekend cost about $175.

Rory said, "It would be more cost effective just to hand over your wallet."

He paused for a moment to let us think about that, then he asked, "How many of you say you train so you can walk the streets safely?"

Everyone's hands went up.

Rory asked, "How many days of work or school have you missed due to training injuries?"

There were a few laughs and replies like, "A lot", and, "Too many."

Rory said, "It makes more sense just to take the beating."

Again he paused to let us think before continuing, "How many of you say you train so you can go home to your families?"

A few hands went up, but by now we had figured out where this was going.

Then he asked, "How much time have you spent training away from your families?"

No one really answered, we all just laughed uncomfortably.

Rory smiled, "The math of self-defense training is really bad. No one should train in self-defense and martial arts out of fear because it doesn't make any sense. So why do we do it?"

I said, "Because it enhances my life."

Rory agreed, "We do it because we love it. It's OK to start training because you're scared, but if you're still scared a year later there's something wrong. You should keep training because you love it."

~*~

The weekend that I (Amy) went through this mental exercise with Rory for the first time was the same weekend that Eric and I decided to start teaching women's self-defense (that's not a coincidence, by the way). As we were putting together our program of what we wanted to teach and why we wanted to teach it, I kept thinking that I needed a catch-phrase to focus my thoughts. The subject of self-defense and women's self-defense is so huge, how do I distill all that information? Some of my friends who are women's self-defense instructors have slogans like, "Self-defense on your terms" and "Live life on your own terms", which are really good! I kept to coming back to "Self-defense training enhances my life." But I wondered if that would that work for other people?

I use "gamefication" to teach soft skills, which are also known as Alpha Skills because they are the first set of skills that we use to keep ourselves safe. My group of friends who are self-defense instructors and practitioners I think of skills that we want to develop and create games to train them. 

A skill that I'm currently working on is knowing where everyone is around me without looking directly. I'm using things like reflection, shadows, and my other senses such as hearing, touch (the feel of air currents), and even smell. I have a mental map of where everyone is around me, and then I look up to check my work.

The main benefit of this is it keeps my brain engaged all day, rather than zoning out due to the same-old-same-old routine. The other major benefit is that it keeps me more aware of all the cool things around me, rather than getting lost in my cellphone and tuning out everything else.

We are so lucky here in Idaho's Treasure Valley to live in such a safe and beautiful place. There's no reason to be paranoid and go around looking for danger behind every bush, even if you live in a dangerous area that's no way to live your life. However, playing games is fun, and when they teach useful skills then it's a win-win.

Eric teaches the hard skills, also known as the physical skills which are the actual fighting skills. These enhance my life too because fighting is fun. Well, training for fighting is fun, actually defending yourself is not, but training is fun. I live a pretty safe life so I like to think that I'm training very hard for a fight I'm never going to have, and I'm having a blast while doing. There's just something very special about the bond you form with your training partners as you're doing something dangerous but you're keeping each other safe. Then you develop that trust to push each other to your limits and even slightly past, and now you have new limits that you never knew you could achieve. There's nothing else like it.

When I showed this photo to Rory Miller I said, "I think Eric is enjoying smashing my face into the ground just a little too much."

Rory quipped, "But is it really possible to enjoy smashing your face into the ground TOO much?"

Funny!

Please note that I'm smiling too. 

At the risk of TMI, I sometimes suffer from Major Depression and nothing else keeps it at bay for me like martial arts training. 

People often say, "Of course, that's because exercise helps treat depression."

But it's not just the exercise, no other form of exercise does this for me. I also love swimming and it gives me a lot of joy, but it doesn't treat my depression like fighting does. It's that bond, that human connection, it's achieving the new limits. 

Self-defense training enhances my life deeply and on so many different levels.

~*~

I started using the phrase "Self-Defense is Life Enhancement" with other people to see if it resonates with them, and I'm pleased to say that it does. 

People seem to get it when say, "You should train because it will enhance your life. Yes, the subject of violence and sexual violence is horrific, but the actual training is a lot of fun."

Indeed a lot women enjoy taking self-defenses classes as a Girls Night Out event. 

Eric and I are not holding classes right now because of Coronavirus concerns, which is why we're starting this blog. We will be posting mostly about soft/alpha skills because you can learn those skills remotely via videos and writings, whereas to learn physical skills you really should be working in person with an instructor. I've also had students ask me to write down my soft-skills training games, and this is a good place for me to do that. We will resume teaching in-person classes when we feel it is Covid-safe to do so.

I hope this blog will enhance your life.

Happy training!

Posted by Amy.